Should you remain friends with your ex or not is a tricky question for a lot of people mainly if we have not identified our feelings or intentions. Many modern relationships begin with two people having a relationship past? Whether it’s the short or long term, the history of the relationship is typically complicated and sometimes tough to understand.
Also, while beginning a new relation, some couples don’t know how to approach the conversation of their ex-partners. Few find themselves building bonds with their ex’s, while others are entirely against it. Also, there are the ones concerned about the boundaries with the ex and have an internal fight with the compromising the previous connection.
When is it wrong to have a connection with an ex? What closeness is acceptable to stay “connected” to an ex? When is it time to ultimately end the bond with an ex? All these questions may confuse you, but people mainly give a vague answer to these questions. Always remember every person is different, every relationship is unique, and every situation has its complexities and complications. So, it’s better to be extremely honest with yourself while asking why you want to stay in a relationship with your ex.
1. Ignore Shortcuts
While beginning a new relationship restrict your conversation about your ex. when you have the urge to talk about your ex-partner, ask yourself “why do you want to talk?” If you are doing this to make your new partner jealous or you miss them (whatever may be the reason), stop doing this today.
Also, if you are starting a relationship with someone you like but are not over with your ex or are playing games to hide insecurities. All these are not the best foundation to begin the new connection. So it’s better to know your intention well and give yourself proper time to think and grieve over the past relations. Skipping all these are a shortcut which you should not take.
2. Have Unique Viewpoints
Typically, we forget how much our ex-partner drove us crazy or how incompatible we are together. Whether beginning a new relation, we tend to compare our ex-partner with our new partner. But the new red flags may alone depend on the irregular memory.
If you are holding the ex because he is the best, then you may never be able to accept the new partner entirely, and you may have unfair expectations. Plus, if your ex is in your life to taunt you, maybe you should cut the bond with them entirely so that you can move on officially and stop comparing both of them.
3. Be Fair
If you don’t want to cut off the connection with your ex for whatever reason may be, be fair enough to apply the same rule with your new partner. Ask yourself “how would I feel about this matter?” Also, make sure that your new partner knows the ability of your ties with your ex. Try not to get preventive about it but instead understand and allow them to have their reaction to it. Together, you both be able to compromise with the healthy boundaries for all.
4. Set Boundaries Clear
It is not fair to set friends with benefits relationship with an ex-partner when you are beginning a new relationship with someone else. It advises you not to take your new relationship seriously, and insecurities will most possibly lead to the ruptures in your relation. But when engaged in ‘friends with benefits’ types, make sure you clarify what your relationship is and is not.
5. Avoid Having Sexual Relation With Each Other After the Breakup
After you broke with your ex-partner and if you still want to continue being friends, forget about thinking of having sex again. It only makes things more complicated and worse instead of solving out. But if you are involved too physically and emotionally, then it’s better to take the right decision and dig your grave deep every time.
Experts even agreed to this fact that it’s healthiest to be friend with your ex till you have completely moved on. If you want to care for them in a non-sexual way and love them without any romantic strings attached, then it is the most beautiful friendship you can have with any person. But in a lot of cases, it is not so. So, it’s better to be extremely honest with yourself while asking why you want to stay in a relationship with your ex.